Heretical Poetry

My favorite quote is, "The heretic is the savior of religion from itself." I made it. It's one of those things that you come up with and it seems so profound you are amazed you were able to think of it at all.

Interesting story ideas are always popping into my head. This one came in odd little fragments, so it seemed that it may be best in the form of verse instead of prose. I have my doubts about that, but alas, here we are. Let's take a look at a first version. (I was looking through various myths along with the insane poetry of E. E. Cummings and Bukowski when I thought of this.)

- - - - - - -

One day
God went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said the man.

Two day
Man went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said God.

- - - - - - -

It's pretty good. I think it will probably blow some people's current models of the world. It's one of those things you can think about quite a lot and it just becomes more insightful. At one level it's basically proposing that Man created God, and God created Man. A type of self-reinforcing cycle. Also, making sense of the world has two meanings, and can be used in both ways here: understanding the world, or changing the world, which are both forms of ordering the world.

I could change a number of things about it. I question all Gods having a gender, but that's hard to get around. It makes sense for some Gods to have genders, especially if you have a pantheon of Gods, and almost all religions do. The different genders are associated with different versions of creation, destruction, chaos, and order, so it will change the meaning. I was able to eliminate gender in the creation myth I wrote not that long ago, but I won't here, and maybe that's for the best.

I think that I should capitalize Man too, because I'm trying to portray mankind, but with a singular for effect. Let's try a few things.

- - - - - - -

One day
God went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said Man.

Two day
Man went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said God.

- - - - - - -

I like it with the capital Man.

- - - - - - -

One day
God went to see her mother,
"Why am I?" she asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said She.

Two day
She went to see her mother,
"Why am I?" she asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said God.

- - - - - - -

That's interesting. Those can be mixed too. Let's try the He version as well.

- - - - - - -

One day
God went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said He.

Two day
He went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said God.

- - - - - - -

Not as good.

- - - - - - -

One day, one day,
God went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said Man.

Two day, today,
Man went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said God.

- - - - - - -

Interesting effect with repeating it. I like the idea of "Two day" sounding like today and literally referring to the number two as well, but I like having a real "today" in there too. It throws off the cadence a little though.

- - - - - - -

One day, one day,
God went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are, you are,
to make sense of the world." said Man.

Two day, today,
Man went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are, you are,
to make sense of the world." said God.

- - - - - - -

That seems to balance it out a bit. What about someday?

- - - - - - -

One day, someday,
God went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said Man.

Two day, today,
Man went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said God.

- - - - - - -

Wow, now we're mixing the past, present, and future.

- - - - - - -

One day, someday,
God went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are, you are,
to make sense of the world." said Man.

Two day, today,
Man went to see his father,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are, you are,
to make sense of the world." said God.

- - - - - - -

I like that one.

- - - - - - -

One day
God went to see his father,
Looking down, he asked,
"Why am I?"
"You are
to make sense of the world." said Man.

Two day
Man went to see his father,
Looking up, he asked,
"Why am I?"
"You are
to make sense of the world." said God.

- - - - - - -

Meh, maybe there's something there.

- - - - - - -

One day
God went to see his father,
Looking down, he asked,
"Why am I?"
Man said,
"You are
to make sense of the world."

Two day
Man went to see his father,
Looking up, he asked,
"Why am I?"
God said,
"You are
to make sense of the world."

- - - - - - -

I'm not sure.

- - - - - - -

One day
God went to see her mother,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said Woman.

Two day
Woman went to see her father,
"Why am I?" she asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said God.

- - - - - - -

That's decent. Better than She.

- - - - - - -

One day
God went to see her father,
"Why am I?" she asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said Man.

Two day
Man went to see his mother,
"Why am I?" he asked.
"You are
to make sense of the world." said God.

- - - - - - -

That's pretty good too.

No matter which version you like, they are interesting and profound ideas to think about.

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