Thoughts on Being Calm Within the Chaos
There's a disconnect between our life on the outside and our life on the inside.
I've been surprised over the last couple of years when people have told me that they can't let go of things emotionally like I can. It's surprising because some people can be doing great on the outside with their family and career, and yet inside they are doing horrible. And no one notices until it's later revealed that they have a drug, or drinking, or gambling problem.
I had an older friend who had a son-in-law with a good family, and house, and job, who completely unexpectedly took his own life. Jack knew I had written on the subject before and asked me why someone would do that. I remember the look of complete bewilderment in his eyes. He couldn't imagine why someone who looked happy and fulfilled on the outside could be feeling horrible on the inside.
I don't particularly have that skill. I basically show how I'm feeling at the time. But I've spent a large portion of my life feeling emotionally crushed and overwhelmed.
I just wasn't naturally built to withstand what life had thrown at me. I've felt anxious and desperate. I've felt depressed and desperate. I've felt devoid of meaning and like all hope is lost in a futile and insignificant existence. That's a lot of the emotional force that drove me to study philosophy and history and psychology.
But in the end, emotions can't be avoided. It would be convenient if we could think them away, but we cannot. they have to be felt mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. It's a skill that can be learned. It is useful. It applies to life.
For instance, this week I have the normal daily stressors of needing to get the brakes changed on the motorcycle and paperwork filed for some classes I'm going to be teaching soon. I'm changing jobs in a few months and need to prepare for that. The business is losing money and I need to think about continuing to pay the bills, including my employee. In addition, on election day on Tuesday I had extended hours starting at 5am and going to 12:30am the next day. I had a vasectomy a week and a half before and tore a stitch that day, which was uncomfortable. I didn't take any painkillers.
Then Wednesday I did another 12 hours to get information prepared for an upcoming political meeting with multiple major items on the agenda that will effect multiple lives in serious ways.
I had scheduled a meeting with a school in Italy at 4am. I woke up to my alarm at 3:30am, took a few breaths, rolled to get out of bed, and fell asleep somewhere during the roll. I hadn't been eating great for a few weeks. I had put my neck exercises that help with my spinal deformities on hold while I healed from my surgery. I was tired.
I woke up a little after 4am and the interviewer had already left. I sent an email to apologize and see if she could get on a call then or reschedule. Most likely it was a great opportunity that I had wasted.
The normal thing is to be frustrated with myself. To be anxious about if I can recover the opportunity. To be depressed that I had failed. And then to be frustrated, anxious, and depressed about everything else in my life that isn't working out perfectly, which is everything. I used to go down rabbit holes like that, so I understand how it goes.
Instead, after staring at my email waiting for a respose for too many minutes, I decided that wasn't useful. I knew I needed rest, but I didn't want to go back to sleep and miss an email if an interview was available immediately. I also knew I had a strong emotional charge from all of these things building up and coming together, and since I had long work hours I had only meditated a few minutes the last couple of days.
What I did was set a timer for 10 minutes. I felt the sensations starting in my toes on my right foot and moved up my leg. A lot of tension and heat and tingling. I had almost made it through both of my legs when the timer went off. I checked my email, nothing.
I set the timer again and kept going. After a few rounds I got an email to reschedule the call for 11am. I did a few more rounds of 10 minutes to complete the body. I experienced the uncomfortable sensations in my spine, head, and face. The shuttering feeling in my arms. My torn stitch. My anxiety, anger, frustration, and sadness. It was uncomfortable, and it was good. It took about 50 or 60 minutes. Then I went to sleep.
When I woke up I dove back into the chaos. I had things to handle at the office. Then the interview. Then back to the office for major issues. Then to a park. The office again. Another park issue. More problems in emails and voicemails at the office. Then home to send emails to two potential jobs and research potentially moving.
It would have been normal for me to let my emotions get the better of me and then handle everything else poorly and for everything to go bad. Instead, I dealt with my emotions and reset them. I waded back into the chaos on the outside while being calm on the inside. It amazes me that is possible. It amazes me even more that it's possible for me. And if I can do it, you can do it.
I wanted to figure out the best way to help other people do the same. I hired a woman in Argentina to do the experiments with me, Maggie, and we experimented for two years to figure out the best coaching method. And we did.
Anyone can develop the same skill and change how they feel and experience the world in 12 weeks or less. Doing two personal sessions per week that's 24 hours of one-on-one coaching. Plus graduation intensives, it's even a little more. That's probably worth 2,400 dollars. But, I'm a little uncomfortable asking people to pay so much in one lump sum. 1,200 dollars is very reasonable for 24 hours of personal coaching over 12 weeks to learn a skill that changes how you feel.
I know people are going to have success and I want to spread that success. So in exchange for giving reviews during and after the program I'm going to let people sign up now for 600 dollars for the full coaching program.
I'm not sure how many people will be interested, but right now Maggie and I can probably only handle about 10 clients because we focus on you as an individual. If you're interested message me and I can get you scheduled for a session with Maggie. You can start learning and applying it right away.
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