Deeper Than Words
We wish words could solve our problems. That saying we're sad would solve our sadness, that admitting our anger would allow us to let go of our anger. That anxiety and depression could be fixed with just the right words said in just the right order. But it doesn't work.
Words are powerful things. They effect us. When someone says something mean to us it hurts, but when they apologize it doesn't fully make up for it. The feeling that is triggered by a series of words can't be put back in the bottle by a different series of words. The only way to sort that feeling out is to feel it.
Feelings are deeper than words. That's why I have a client that was recently surprised when she started feeling and found that she had fear, when she expected to find anger and sadness. That's why I had a past client recently message me that knowing how to practice feeling probably saved his life when he recently experienced a major loss.
If it would have worked for her to say, "I'm angry because of x." or "I'm sad because of y." or "I'm afraid because of z." that would have been so easy, and simple, and fast. It doesn't work that way.
We use our words to communicate our feelings, and that can help in its own way, but it will never replace the feeling itself. The feelings are beyond words, before words, more foundational than words, deeper than words. To resolve that, to fix that, you have to feel. It's the only way. It's a natural ability that we are born with, we just aren't shown how to use it, but it's always there, ready when we are.
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